Hello, Mary Sue
by Wolvertique
Summary: The X-Men meet a Mary Sue who only knows movieverse. Can they survive? Can you?


Author's note: I write this Mary Sue parody with apologies to Gene Pitney, author of Hello Mary Lou, a good song. The idea behind it: What if the real X-men met a Mary Sue from fiction? (FYI, this particular one has only seen X2.)

I don't own the X-men or Gene Pitney. I just take them out and play with them sometimes. ^^ before a paragraph indicates that this is Mary Sue speak/think, and warns of atrocious grammar and spelling ahead. (Yes. I did it on purpose.) This Mary Sue's for you! Unfortunately…

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"Hello, Mary Sue, goodbye heart;   
Sweet Mary Sue I'm so in love with you.  
I knew Mary Sue, we'd never part  
So hello Mary Sue, goodbye heart."  
  
Scott Summers groaned. Another one was approaching fast, flying on rainbow wings, wind ruffling her curly blond hair. He hit the alarm buzzer. "Mary Sue alert, Mary Sue alert. Take up Plan B."

^^Carmelita de'Orromorroborroborro was flynig to join the X-man. Her totally pretty blond hair swung in the breeze she created. Because she could control the weater. And had prety rainbow wingfs lik an Angels. She teleported better and less stinker as Kurt. ^^

The X-men all scattered and started engaging in activities that they hoped would put any decent Mary Sue off her feed. Scott began grading English essays, Jean by his side. Kurt Wagner took some of the children to the small chapel on the grounds and began fervently praying. Remy and Piotr went to the den together. "Remember, cher, she come in here, we start kissin' like mad." "Da, but what if Mary Sue likes that?"

^^She had on her favorit pin,k cahsmere sweater from Aeropostale and her prettyest jeans. They were tite too but not because she was fat because she gone on the Adkins diet and now she was 90 pounds again so there. Her sliver azure eyes flash as she used her psychic powers! much better than the professors^^

Logan shrugged and kept teaching his defensive driving course. No point in gettin' all beaten out of shape because some silly kid was going to get her heart broken again. Besides, he was confident he could handle anything a Mary Sue could dish out.

^^But her special name like the name of every mutants was so amazing everyone just fell down in awesomeness when they her! It. Mariathewakanna you so beautiful the tall man in a cowboy hat.^^

Beast remained monitoring the track the Mary Sue was taking. "She appears to be heading toward the driving track. Logan, she's all yours."

Logan snorted. "Must be my lucky day. Okay, kids. Show me how ya avoid a drunk driver." He beckoned Rahne. "You first."

The other X-men took up their normal duties again, relieved.

^^Because her comsic powers, she find her luv. The man called Login! She fly faster to him. He was teachnig the kids because he act all tough but really just a snuggle bunny.^^

The kid flew down and posed. She couldn't have been more than thirteen. She stared at a point several inches above his head with a dopey look on her face. "Login!" she screamed happily.

Jamie, Sam, and Paige all burst out laughing. He couldn't keep a grin off his face, either. "Save it for the computer class, kid. And what's with staring at the air?" He waved a hand, trying to get her attention.

^^omylove, Login said. ^^

"I did not! And my name's not LogIn, either. It's Logan."

^^Her love had her look at him on his knees to her because he proably proppose soon and she fluffed out her pretty hair, better than Storms. She smiled confident and secure despite having a worsest background than Login and benig tortured by Stiker too. because she was kind and strong. ^^

Rahne had pulled up by now, too, laughing her ass off. Hell, he was laughing. This idiot was so lost in her own private world … he stopped laughing. She was so lost in her own private world, how could he get rid of her without hurting her? She was just a kid, after all.

^^Opening her beautiful wide deep eyes she sad. Login, you can tell me anything luv, you know you can trust me cause i can use my telepathy. ^^

He opened his communicator. "Rogue, got a minute? The invader's got me a little stumped right now."

"Sure thing, sugar."

^^Login talk to rouge. Rouge was jelous of Mariathewakanna because she end up with Login instead. Even though she had Iceman who was like totaly cute to, but not like login.was ^^

"And Rogue? Do your best Anna Paquin imitation. It's an X2 Mary Sue." He closed the communicator and smiled at the class. "Go on back to the mansion. I'll get rid of this, then get you guys back."

^^Login ask the kids to leave so he can hold Mariathewakanna his arms! Were so strong she felt she might break. ^^

The stupid kid threw herself at him as soon as his class left. Damn it. "Rogue?"

"Don't worry!" Rogue flew across the field, holding her brown wig on hard. "I have a strategy!"

The kid held on harder and shouted some silly melodramatic nonsense. He growled.

^^Mariathewakanna declare her love for Login! So rouge you can just leave! using her telekinesis^^

"Logan, you gotta meet her on her level. Here. Watch what I do." She landed near him and looked at the Mary Sue hard.

^^rouge look at Mariathewakanna sad. She was so pretty and beautiful to and nice and she had to make her sad again like that time her dad said she cuoldnt watch American Idol or any other tv and he was drunk. 'Sorry, Mariathewakanna but Login thought you died that time you fought and we marry and the babys coming soon so. ^^

Logan stared at her in disbelief. "Rogue, what are you doing?"

"Hush. Wait." The woman flapped a hand at him and pointed to the Mary Sue, who had released her grip on her waist and appeared to actually focus on Rogue herself.

^^Mariathewakanna sad for rouge. The jelus girl try to break up she and Login! the bestest couple ever. She take Rouge hand and say 'that you should go for iceman. He loves you instead and you can have a baby instead. of Login. ^^

"Damn. She didn't believe me." Rogue turned to Logan, who already had his hands out.

"No way. Uh-uh. I've done a lot of stupid things in my time, but I ain't doin' this."

"Fine. Enjoy her." Rogue sat back on her heels, amused, while Logan groaned.

"All right, but if this gets out …"

^^Logan^^

"Login!" Rogue whispered. "She can't spell!"

^^Login look sad at the girl. ^^

"Call her beautiful!"

"Why? She's not."

"Look, you have to meet her where she is."

He sighed. "Fine."

^^Login look sad at the beautiful woman who look at jelous Rouge and hold his arm around her. "Im sorry ^^

"What was that damned name, again?"

"Mariathewakanna."

^^Mariathewakanna but Rouge got it right we marry and use you're p[owers and you see. rouge is having the baby soon so i cant leave her Im very verry sorry." ^^

The kid was actually looking at him. He hoped this worked, and fast. He was losing IQ points faster than politicians in D.C. Rogue crossed her fingers.

^^She look sad at her love because Rouge lying too him to and that wasn't right. But he ask her try her powers and she reach them into Rouge and there were babys, two of them, so she begin crying perfect tears that didn't' make her face read or anything. ^^

The kid looked at Rogue, pushed her hand at her with drama, and then gasped, startling back and crying. Her nose turned red, and she wiped it on her pink sweater.

^^"Godbye my luv i will remember yuo Always think of me when you kiss the babys" she rose into the air fast. Not knowing where to go then she smiled. Toby magurie was totaly hot in Spicerman. ^^

The kid rose into the air, heading for New York City, muttering about Spiderman. Rogue wiped her brow, then extended her hand. "Good job, partner."

He took it, then took the wig from her head. "Nice."


End file.
